Magnify that quandary a factor of 100 and you start to approach the challenge of selecting funeral flowers. Choices now go beyond which flowers and what color, to style and size and meaning—so much wrapped up in the presentation and all done under a veil of grief. Flowers are a bright spot in a funeral, a bit of life, and should be selected with confidence.

For a full listing of funeral flower arrangements, I suggest you try this site, but let’s look at the standards. Many families choose a casket spray to be used both during the viewing or visitation and the funeral. A casket spray is a large flower arrangement placed on top of the casket and extending over half the casket or the full casket. As guests visually concentrate on the casket, a casket spray can have a great impact. It is usually selected and paid for by the immediate family.

Christians often choose a floral cross to represent their faith at a funeral. The cross can be small or large, placed inside or atop the casket, or braced on a stand.

Wreaths and free-standing sprays are commonly displayed at visitation and funerals. They are available in a range of flowers and colors. While white flowers are often chosen for funerals, any color flower is acceptable; and while there are traditional funeral arrangements, a wide range of flowers and arrangements are appropriate.

For friends and family wishing to send sympathy flowers, an arrangement in a vase or basket is as appropriate as a traditional funeral arrangement. A plant basket is similarly appropriate, and something that may last as an ongoing reminder of thoughtfulness.

Funeral flowers and sympathy flowers pull double or triple duty. Flowers for the funeral home viewing are transported to the chapel or church to decorate the funeral. After the funeral, flowers may be transported to the cemetery to stand at the final resting place. Arrangements are often taken home by the family after services, a reminder of others’ condolences and thoughtfulness as well as decoration for any post-funeral reception. Families may donate large floor arrangements to their churches.

Funeral and sympathy flowers are a loving expression, welcome in any style or color. Choices should be based on preferences and budget, not on perceived funeral limitations.

Very young children won’t have enough awareness to be upset by the deceased or the grief of attendees. From that standpoint, a child needn’t be excluded, however, a young child may not have the patience of a wake or a funeral service and may be disruptive. Their needs may prevent a parent from participating. Elementary-aged children often have enough self-control to limit their needs and distraction, but have a greater awareness of their surroundings. Children this age may have a strong emotional response to viewing the deceased or being around mourners.

At this age, and for middle schoolers, many recommend taking the child’s preference into account. It is appropriate to discuss proceedings at an age-appropriate level and be responsive to a child’s fears and desire to stay away, or their need to say goodbye and be a part of funeral proceedings. Parents may also want to take into account the child’s relationship with the deceased and whether he or she will be confused without a chance to view the deceased and say goodbye.

For additional considerations, check out this article on grieving children.

Many of the steps are fairly obvious, though fewer than half of us have managed to take these steps:

1. Write a will.
2. Consider life insurance.
3. Complete critical end-of-life documents.
4. Manage finances to avoid probate…

And the final two are to Plan your Memorial or Funeral and to Choose Burial or Cremation. Why are these steps proposed in a financial article? Care of final needs is a substantial cost–with average costs of a funeral and burial in the $10,000 range, some will cost considerably more. By considering how your loved ones might remember, honor, and memorialize you, you can estimate the cost of your final needs.

More importantly, you can plan for them now, and remove the financial burden from your family. Planning can be part of general estate planning, or a solitary effort to address this cost. Planners even have the option of pre-paying the costs of final needs, an insurance policy of sorts, that usually offers a cost-savings. For more details on the benefits of advance funeral planning and prepaid funerals, try this article on Funeral Insurance. Often called a prepaid funeral or prepaid cremation, costs paid in advance are regulated by the insurance industry and may also be called funeral insurance.

Have you considered cost of final needs in your own personal end-of-life planning?

• Let yourself focus on just one thing at a time.
• Let your family and friends help. Break up the tasks that need to be done to plan the funeral and assign them. Friends can help select funeral flowers, a brother or sister can be in charge of the eulogy, another family member the funeral readings…
• Let the funeral director take care of as much as possible. The funeral director handles the majority of funeral arrangements, processing the death certificate and permits, transporting the deceased, and coordinating arrangements for the funeral service and cemetery burial. A funeral directory advises and guides on other funeral issues including the casket, flowers, music, and readings.

Breaking tasks up into manageable pieces and having everyone do their part will help a family plan a funeral without being overwhelmed. If you need help dealing with your loss, check our resources for help.

Cremation NJ